Day 3... This is a Nightmare...

Someone... please put me out of my misery.. this is a nightmare. I guess now I know why I didn't do this so long ago... I can hardly take the screaming. He is so stubborn. And today he learned how to climb out of his crib. I don't know what to do. I put him beach in and 30 seconds later, he climbs right back out!! What the heck, Griffin!! So I didn't even get to leave the bedroom today, I didn't know what to do with him.

We had gone through the whole routine, and as soon as he knew bedtime was coming, he whined and whined as if I was about to inflict the worst amounts of torture. I let him fall asleep nursing, hoping I would somehow be able to get him to sleep. No go. He's the lightest sleeper ever. And he is so exhausted.

Like I said, I didn't even make it out of the room this time for more than a few minutes before he was out of the crib, and knocking on the door. "Mommy! Mommy!" ... My poor sweet boy. I put him back in his crib and laid him down, and he's already climbing out before I can get to the door. We go through this a dozen times. Finally I try and read him another story and hope he'll lay down in his crib and go to sleep. I start "Horton Hears a Whoo"... He never ever lays down. Becomes quiet, yes.. but that's it. I get half way through the book and realize he is never going to lay down and sleep.

So I put the book down, lay him down again and start singing his favorite song. He is screaming, but as soon as I start, "Take me out to the ball game.." He calms right down and his eyes start to droop. I am thinking I am in the clear and he'll be out shortly... Not. A. Chance. As soon as I stop singing or move away from the crib.. he starts again. Wakes back up and is screaming.

This is torture for us both. It would be so easy to just take him to my bed, nurse him to sleep and then go about my night and finish what I've needed too for 2 days. I am going to the beach tomorrow and taking Riley up to his Dad's. I hadn't even started packing yet.

This goes on for hours. I put him to bed... started at least.. at 7:30pm. It is now 10 pm, and he just stopped screaming 10 minutes ago. I left him in his room, and he climbed out of his crib and laid at the door screaming and saying "Mommy" for 20 minutes.. I, as a Mom.. was out of patience juice. I knew he was safe, he's just be falling asleep on the floor until I turn his bed back into a toddler bed tomorrow. Although I'm unsure as to how I will get the door open.

I stayed in his room for 2 hours tonight.. trying to get him to stay asleep. Rocking him sometimes, singing to him others, just holding him.. but every single time I went to lay him down or open the door to leave after he'd finally fallen asleep... he would wake right back up.

Finally I had to get out of there. He has to learn. Has to learn that THAT is his room now, and that is is his and that Mommy can't put him to sleep the rest of his life. Mommy has to start school and I need to know he is okay. Right now I fear how he will be.

Now, although it was awful listening to him cry and not go to sleep even though he is so tired.. I did see my boy make a friend tonight with his Scout puppy. I sat outside his bed and as long as I was there, he was happy, and he laid there and played with this stuffed dog really for the first time. It would say "Hi Griffin" and he would say "Hi" back and he hugged it and cuddled it and turned on the music, and then he gave that puppy a kiss and made the puppy kiss him back on the cheek... it was the most precious thing. He made a friend with it and I got to see it. I love him so much.

So although this has been really difficult, I think we are both getting stronger and growing in this. I just hope he learns a little quicker, and realize Mommy is not trying to torture him, just that he needs to go to sleep in his bed.

Today, I am thankful I have my boys to love and hug and teach new things.. Having them apart of my life has made my life worth living. Even though parenting has it's challenges... in the end, they are so worth the rewards you receive.