Today I needed more hands...

As a single Mom, you learn to get by with what you have. Give the kids more than you have. And have a little less for you, because that's just the way it is.

Well today was one of those days I could've used another set of hands. And I am exhausted, it was *go-go-go* all day and Griffin said "Hello" to the day wide awake at 6:15am. "Good Morning baby" I say, trying to smile, because Mommy went to bed with a migraine and feels the effects of it this morning, taking away what little energy I have at that unGodly hour of the morning.

So I get my coffee, get Griffin a bowl of cereal. And I sit... for 3 whole minutes. Any of you that get to enjoy a cup of coffee all in one sitting without a child screaming, it getting cold, knocked over, or getting dirty toddler fingers put in it? I hate you... lol

So I never finished my coffee, and it was time to get the day started. We are having a neighborhood yard sale this weekend, and so the dog is already yapping at 7 am at every pass-er-by, and Griffin is being his joyous, happy self, turning the tv off every 5 seconds and pressing the loudest toy truck I've ever heard in my life. And Riley is ready to spend all his money finding whatever knick-knacks he can.

I'm sitting down for the first time all day long.. And yes I mean that literally. It's 3:30pm and Griffin is taking his nap and Oh thank GOD... My coffee is ready. I just finished putting away 4 loads of laundry, emptying and reloading the dish washer, and then found 3 more loads of clothes that need to be done... Great. Coffee is my only drug. It's the only thing I allow myself to thoroughly enjoy, and I do it well.

Today was a day I needed more hands. I could tell you all about my day and let you fully experience how I needed another set of hands to help, but it's pretty obvious. I am a single Mom and I have two kids, clearly I need help of some kind.

More normally I do alright. Normally I can get through the day and it's just like any other day and I just do it. But today... Today I needed help. I did it, I did fine, but I was scrapping my heels getting through the day. Some how, there are a few days once in a while where the thought comes to me, "I wish I had someone." "I wish he was here today." "I wish things were different."

Why don't I have help? I know I have my parents and they are great.. but why don't my kids have Daddy's? Why did God see fit for me to be a single Mom for however long it is..? I know He's got someone special in store for me. But why do I have to wait so long.

It's hard seeing how happy my friends are with their husbands and babies. It's not that I'm jealous.. Okay, let's face it sometimes I am.. but that's not the point here. haha. It's just hard! Any of you out there with great Daddy's for your little one's.. thank God for them tonight because not all of us are so blessed. Some of us were lied too. Some of us were taken advantage of. And some of us were saddled with ALL of the responsibility of these little souls to raise.

I just needed someone today. I just needed help today. Even just someone to put my head of their shoulder and share a good bad or quiet moment with. Or hold my hand.

Sometimes I look at my boys and I get to share a beautiful moment with them, and I think... "He should've been here for this." "He doesn't realize what he's missing." I don't love that I don't get to share my kids. Sometimes it's nice because I make all the rules, but most of the time I want to share all of the moments. The proud ones, the sad ones, the *my-kid-is-driving-me-crazy-you-take-him!!* moments.

I just want to share it. I'm ready to share my life. I don't want to do this alone forever. Because that would just be sad. And I am tired of being sad about doing it alone already, I can't imagine another 5, 10, or 20 years of it.

So I will sit here and drink my coffee and pray that the next 6 hours go as smoothly as possible, but I'm just ready for it to be bedtime already and take a long hot shower.

I've had 2 showers this week, and both of them had to be record times of under 7 minutes. And that's not easy.

I just want a break today..