This week should have been skipped entirely...

Let's start that again...

This has probably been the worst week I have had in a long time, and in large part, an all around bad month... and I may never take another vacation...

This week started on Sunday, the 12th of June, and Griffin awoke with a worsening case of losing his voice, my poor little guy could not hit his normal ear piercing pitch, and as much as it hurts my ears, I was missing it because I knew it meant he did not feel well at all.. :( This morning kind of drags on, we got up early, around 7ish am, and so I start finishing up all the things we needed, and then some, for our very first beach trip. This was Griffin's FIRST trip to the beach. I am really excited to get going.

And then he falls... and he cries... and he opens up his mouth really wide and I see them.. little white spots covering the back of his throat... no wonder he was cranky. I start to panic, thinking of the many things this could be, and finish throwing everything in the car, get the boys packed in and head to the hospital. Luckily we get right in and they see him. No fever as of yet, but he's got thrush they said...

This is the beginning of a very long trip. A trip I wish had gone very differently. A trip that turned out to be greatly regretted, not much enjoyed and a true disappointment to both myself and my kids.

I really wanted to enjoy this vacation, I really wanted it to be the start of a wonderful summer. But it wasn't... and if it's any indication of how this summer is going to go, I would rather hide.

Sunday: Trip to ER. Longest drive ever to Ocean City, MD. Crappy weather. Cranky kids.
Monday: Griffin gets a 101 fever, Lethargic, and all around not happy. Terrible time at the beach, barely got  to enjoy it for even a moment. Let down my Riley because he didn't get to ride the pier rides like I promised, and my phone broke.
Tuesday: Completely missed and forgot to cancel my dental appt, 4 hour drive home, 1 hour in a sprint store. Cranky kids. Griffin's fever continues. Got a ghetto phone to use with no numbers.
Wednesday: Cranky kids. Dr's appt, not thrush, diagnosis unknown. Fever finally breaks.
Thursday: I am depressed because of the way this week is going. Cranky Kids. Cranky Momma. Totally forgot and missed Riley's therapy appt. Finally got a replacement phone.
Friday: Totally forgot and missed my WIC appt. Cleaned the house for literally 5 hours straight and feel like I got nothing accomplished. Kids fighting. Cranky and Depressed Momma.

Please let this month get better. It's been nothing but disappointments by the people I counted as friends. By things in my life. By people I depend on. By myself.

I disappointed myself this month because I should've been better with my finances. Yes it's true I just paid off all my debt. But that doesn't give me lee-way to just do retail therapy to make myself feel better. I still have responsibilities. I still have bills to pay. I have to keep it together.

I also found out this month I can't get a house. I can't get an apartment. I can't do anything until I make over $30,000 a year by myself on paper. Great.

So yesterday I applied to college. I have been advised for some time that I should become a nurse. Well, it's been on my mind a lot lately, so I decided to go for it. And this way I could support my boys and not have to worry about child support. I could be independent with them and take care of them and be something they will be proud of.

This is the only thing that is good this week, so far.. I just hope that the curse of this week does not carry over to this as well and I not get accepted or approved for what I have applied for.

Please God, let tomorrow be better. Let next week be 200x better than this week and every week after that. I need it to be better.

I have learned this week that I should learn to take the advice of those who love me, because 9 times of of 10, they've proven to be right.