Today my summer begins..

I usually write my blogs with coffee close at hand, for some reason it always makes me think clearer to have it by me.

Today I am going on vacation. Day 1 of 5 and I am praying diligently it goes smoothly. Already, my friend Jen has had a mishap leading up to this vacation with her car breaking down last night, and that was stressful. What's funny is that I was just thinking yesterday that vacations are supposed to be your break from your stressful life so that you can relax, and yet for some reason, they always end up causes more stress and making you go broke, like me. I can tell you right now I would be no where CLOSE to being broke right now had I not been buying for our beach trip the past 2 weeks. I am very good with money and would've been fine had I not had unfortuneate circumstances... ie: exhusband not paying child support. I have the child 99.8% of the year, please just pay on time so my life can run smoothly.

You what's funny? They tell you when you go to file for child support, that this cannot be a dependent income. You are not supposed to *depend* on this income FOR your dependent. But~! It's supposed to be an income to make up for the other half of income you are lacking, so how can you not depend on it? That's like having both parents working within one family, and someone telling you that you shouldn't depend upon your husband/wife's income and you should just be sufficient on your own. Yea, like THAT ever happens... maybe in a perfect world I guess. But I'm a single mother. Already I am at a disadvantage because I am a woman. I have the children, so I can't just work and work for an income because I also have to Care for the children. But I know if I was a man without the children and I had to pay support, then I would work 2 jobs to make up for that, because he doesn't have the children, he has the time for that... but no man ever does. They just give you the left overs, whereas I still have the children, and no matter what, I have to make sure they are taken care of completely. Maybe that doesn't make sense, maybe it does, but I know I find it odd.

In fact, in this time, I don't see how it's possible for any mother supporting children, under school age, on her own to make it without the help of family. Unless she is working 2 jobs, has child support and puts all her kids in daycare. I am unsure how I will make it without Griffin and Riley being in school fulltime.

So, today I'm gong on vacation, hopefully to get away from the things around here that are stressful. I'm going to try not to worry about my bank account. Try not to fret about next week and just relax.. Well... relax as much as I can while chasing around a toddler and trying to not let him eat too much sand and not walk straight into the ocean ... :)

I love my boys and I am so glad to be able to share this time with them. <3